The Lockdown, The Homeostasis & My Mother

Homeostasis - This word has stuck with me since the 4th grade (I think it was 4th grade science). Ofcourse at that time I just had to mug up the meaning of the word for exams but I was a weird kid. Of all the funny words like “Pyongyang” and “Premblememblemation”. Ya ok, go ahead and try and say them. They are fun words to say. And yes, they are actual words and I knew them in the 4th grade because I was a nerd. I was struck by the word - Homeostasis.

When you lift the word out of biology and move it to life or philosophy, homeostasis has always found multiple ways to come and whack me in some way. I am no psychology expert. For that matter I am no expert at all (except at making well formatted excel sheets) but being an ardent human observer, I have just always found myself trying to achieve some sort of a stable state amidst a million conflicts that either I rile up myself or people rile up in me. Yup, I am exceptionally good at that as well – riling up).

Point being, no matter how long it takes, one or the other way homeostasis always finds a way to creep in. And whoever said life is unfair and all that!

Before the corona break out in India I didn’t have time to listen to my own thoughts. Ofcourse I was complaining about not having time. I was bust from before the sun rose till it rose again the next day, so life said, “Here! Take this. From when the sun rises to it rising again the next day, take 30 days – listen to all the thoughts you want and go nuts!” (Yeah! Life has a mean streak!)
So now I had to find ways to distract myself just to stop listening to my thoughts (like Joe said in friends; “Turns out I don’t have that many thoughts you know!”)! Ya, ok, I was complaining about having too much time too. So I dived into Netflix and knocked off almost all the war stuff. (Yeah! I have a mean streak too).

I mean come on – house arrest in a 700 Sq. feet house with 4 people and a dog begins with isolation within isolation with war stuff on screen. (Bring it on!)
Now my mind is all riled up again. Hitler, Stalin, Churchill, Putin… Err just because I want to mention him – Trump. The geniuses, the idiots, the loss of life, the destruction and I let all these things fill my head up. (Great start by the way to push aside thoughts.) I was thinking all this war riling up in my head will make me start writing a book. A great book!

And then my mother opens my door and starts yelling in Assamese – “Get out of your bed - you moron, like get out now. Go take a shower. Just go” Hearing my mother, my dog Oreo also lets out a few barks at me. Now I am like “Umm… Errr ok but why” – Big mistake. When your mother is yelling at you, never ask why. Like just don’t. Just Sush.

Slouching and drooping I walk to the bathroom, showered and came out. She angrily points to the dinning table. My pup loves food (edible or non-edible) of any kind so he comes wagging his seriously strong tail. Her one look is enough for even him to understand to go back inside. So this time I was smart and didn’t ask why. I just quietly went to the dining table and ate my toast in silence.

While I ate toast & chai I got a whole fast Rap version (still beaming with anger) from her on how the world and country is falling apart and I’m sitting on my ass and sharing a dialogue with Hitler. And how I need to make myself productive and a whole bunch of other things that has nothing to do with me or the world or war or Hitler.

So Now I am doing dishes.

And listening to my mother’s riled up thoughts about how “she” apparently “got stuck with me” in this lockdown!

Homeostasis - this time in the form of my mother!
I guess “my thoughts” and Hitler and the great war book are going to have to wait just now!

Picture Courtesy: Either my dad or my brother.
Back Dated : 26th March 2020